In hopes of returning to some normality in the near future (post Covid-19), while also being acutely aware of the forthcoming litigation potential of the simple act of hosting a dinner party, I have begun to draft my own "dinner party release form"; in conjunction with, the protocols for domicile viral counter-measures. More on the DVCM in a future post. For all my friends and family who wish to get a jump on post Covid-19 dinner party invites, print and sign the form below or send me an email with the subject line below with an "X".
Thank you, for your understanding of future DVCM protocols and for your own act of containment of potential points of high velocity fluid contacts. Can't wait until we can all sit down together again.
Dinner party safety protocols
Covid-19 release form 2020
Physical proximity of potential viral agents:
Being of sound mind and body, I seek socialization with friends and family upon your domicile.
I fully intend to exchange the contents of my lung capacity within the airspace of your domicile, understanding the potential of low fresh air exchange rates per hour. Furthermore, I understand that others within the premise may also choose to exchange the contents of their lung capacities within the same said airspace.
Active participation in the reduction of fluid contacts:
Being of a non-slovenly state, I agree to not spew, lick, or violently expel CDC guidelined compounds, upon the occupants of the so referenced domicile.
My excluded acts will include the spewing upon candles of a birthday cake, licking of one’s hand (after eating birthday cake), or violently expeling (said birthday cake) in sudden outbursts of laughter.
Acceptance of thorough viral counter-measures:
Being of reasonable health and endurance, I willing subject my body and psyche to the physical and mental stresses which may be endured in the neutralization of potential viral and fluid contaminants within the domicile.
- I choose to accept potential radiating events that could lead to a pink glow upon my skin and surfaces.
- I find frequent decontamination protocols engaging and easy to perform during casual conversation.
- I prefer to contain my high velocity expulsions within 90% post consumer material disposable products.
Upon my disapproval of any measures:
I agree to open a window, should this not alleviate my disapproval, I agree to jump out of it.
Signature “X”:________